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Some of my finest gaming memories come from Rareware's Donkey Kong Country series. After playing all three games again recently on my Super Nintendo, I'd say that they hold up just as well today. Hell, even the graphics still look better than some of the more "technologically advanced" titles of the time (looking at you, Final Fantasy VII and Super Mario 64). It's not easy to create a series of games consisting entirely of masterpieces, but Rareware did it in a big way with these three. However, with all of that said, there are some levels in these games that just piss me off. Whether their difficulty is caused by environmental factors, timing, or cheap gimmicks, some of these levels are just brutal. Therefore, I present my personal top 10 list of the hardest levels from the original Donkey Kong Country series. Before I get started, I'd like to lay a few ground rules down:
1.) Like I said, I'm talking about the original trilogy for the SNES. I have not played Donkey Kong Country Returns nor have I played Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze, so they cannot and will not be included.
2.) I'm going to leave out any "Lost World" levels. Why? They are in a league of their own. They would more or less dominate the list if I put them in, so I'm just doing the ones that are vital to completing the main game. So no Animal Antics, Swoopy Salvo, Klobber Karnage, or any other levels of this sort.
3.) This should be self-explanatory, but I'm not including boss battles in this list.
4.) I do occasionally use profanity. I shouldn't have to list that, but some people get offended, so please don't read beyond this point if you don't like adult language.
5.) This is not the end-all-be-all of top 10's - these are my personal opinions based on how many lives I lost, how tedious or frustrating these levels were, etc. Feel free to leave your opinions in the comments, but my decisions are final.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Loopy Lights (Donkey Kong Country)
Rareware was being a real dick with this level. It's much like the earlier Stop 'N Go Station from a few worlds back, only this time the barrels don't deactivate invincible enemies - they turn the lights on and off. Throw in Klaptraps that jump only when you do (those little bastards are hard to kill) and Zingers to dodge in the dark, this level can prove a bit difficult. Apropos to the level's layout is that of the bonus levels, which tend to be difficult both to find and to navigate through. Thanks, darkness, my old friend. (Darkness can't be friends. Take that, Simon and Garfunkel!) Luckily, you can still see the whites of your enemies' eyes in the dark so you won't get a cheap shot. They do, however, throw in a Manky near the end, so if you don't go fast enough you may get hit with a barrel you can't see. Oh, and there's a jumping Klaptrap at the stage exit. Just when you thought you were in the clear. Fuck those jumping bastards.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Windy Well (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
You might notice a trend in this list - I don't like levels that dictate the pace at which to move, and I don't like feeling as though I'm not in control of the character. I get both of these feelings from Windy Well. Basically, the wind blows upward and you have to float along, dodging Zingers and such as you go. There are a lot of rather difficult spots in this, including very short wind bursts and navigating through a series of Zingers that seem to move at no specific pattern. I found myself taking hits purposefully so as to get that couple seconds of invincibility and speed the process up, because this level tends to drag the fuck on. Combine this with some out-of-the-way bonus barrels (with not-so-easy objectives within, might I add) and a similarly placed DK Coin and you're going to find yourself real annoyed at this level. However, this level pretty much hands you a Red Kong Balloon shortly after the save barrel, so it's uncommon to "Game Over" on this level. You'll probably still die a lot, though.
HONORABLE MENTION:
Kong-Fused Cliffs (Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!)
Picture this - you're climbing a mountain. Everything seems great and good until all of a sudden, the rope starts burning underneath you. You're now left with no choice but to climb upward as fast as you can so you can survive. This is more or less the premise of this level. Add Buzzes and Kopters and you've got yourself a goddamn frustrating experience. You can never go too high because enemies are coming in all the time, and you can never go too low because you'll be burnt and/or fall to your death. You're given a very small square to work within. And of course, the bonus barrels are completely out of the way and OF COURSE they both take place on a burning rope, so have fun with that. To top it all off, the DK Coin is hidden in an alcove and you wouldn't even know it was there if you hadn't randomly thrown the steel keg at the end against the left-most wall. So why is this just an honorable mention? Well, in the end it's more or less just a test of memory. Once you know where everything is, this level is pretty manageable.
NUMBER 10:
Poisonous Pipeline (Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!)
Some people would put this at the top of their list, but I really don't think it's as bad as people say it is. Still, it's pretty fucking terrible. You're put into this pipe filled with purple water and enemies. It doesn't look so bad, until you realize that the poison has reversed your controls. When you push left your character moves right and vice versa. I suppose they needed some gimmick to hit the player with right before the final boss but...really? That's unbelievably cheap (then again, DKC3 has a lot of cheap gimmicks). I already can't stand water levels for their slow pace and occasional lack of control. I don't need to have my controls reversed on top of that. Nonetheless, as far as 100% completing it is concerned, there's one bonus barrel that's out of the way but they're both not that hard to find or to complete. The only pain in the ass is the inverted controls, particularly with Enguarde. The DK Coin isn't hard to get either - it's just kind of funny to attempt to get on land as the controls normalize once you hit the air. In short, this level isn't as hard as people think it is, but it made it to this list for a reason.
NUMBER 9:
Tanked Up Trouble (Donkey Kong Country)
Here's another one that moves at its own pace. Tanked Up Trouble takes all of the joy that was Trick Track Trek (I say that with the utmost sarcasm) and adds a fueling element to it. If your platform doesn't have enough fuel, you'll fall to your death. These barrels are often not easy to get and require pinpoint timing and accuracy, and skipping fuel barrels is not an option. Some of the fuel barrels only give you like a drop of fuel too, so you have to frantically jump to the next one, which knowing your luck is guarded by fucking Zingers. God, I hate those bees. And the bonus level is pretty hard to find too, being invisible and all. Anyway, they did re-hash this idea for DKC2's Haunted Hall level, but frankly I don't think that level was as bad as this one. But hey - that's just my opinion.
NUMBER 8:
Snow Barrel Blast (Donkey Kong Country)
Good Christ, this level was the bane of my childhood existence. Aside from being one of the longest levels in the game, it's also one of the most aneurysm-inducing. Now, in the first half of the level you might think to yourself "oh man this isn't that bad!" But then, once you hit that midway save barrel, snow starts falling HARD. This can seriously obstruct your view. Add that to the icy platforms, vultures flying at you, barrels that move really fast, and Zingers that get in your way as you move from barrel to barrel, and you've got yourself a real bitch of a level. I can't even tell you how long it took for me to beat this as a kid, and it still gives me trouble today. Also, there are not one, not two, but THREE bonus levels in this bad boy. And good luck finding them - they are all outside of the main path of the level. This would probably be higher on the list if it wasn't for the gigantic shortcut that pretty much lets you skip the entire second half of the level. I just found out about that shortcut recently though, so the frustration still applies.
NUMBER 7:
Web Woods (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
Say hello to one of the most tedious levels in the entire series - Web Fucking Woods. You start off with some fairly easy platforming with Diddy and Dixie, but once you turn into Squitter the Spider...oh boy, are you in for some shit. You spend pretty much the entirety of the level using your web-platforming technique, navigating over large abysses inhabited by Zingers, Mini Neckys, and Kannons. Now, for one, the web platforms don't always last as long as you'd want them to. Two, it can prove very difficult to pinpoint where to put the webs, as you're constantly being barraged by enemies and you can only aim them so well. Three, this is one of the most bullshit levels to complete 100% in any of the three games. For example, to find one of the bonus areas you have to go all the way across an abyss, only to backtrack and follow a very slow-moving Kannonball to a wall, which it breaks down. Also, the DK Coin is one of the prizes you win if you hit the ending target at the right time. The problem, of course, is that the DK Coin shows up for only a fraction of a second, shorter than any of the other prizes. It's like the developers wanted us to hate this level. Well Rareware, mission accomplished.
NUMBER 6:
Koindozer Klamber (Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!)
This level is so unforgiving. You have to navigate through this level by climbing ropes and either dodging the Koindozers or jumping on their shields to progress. Here's the problem - the Koindozers are invincible, they run as fast as you run, and the hit detection is completely off. I found myself yelling "WHY THE FUCK DID I DIE?!" so many times during this level because I would seem to jump on the Koindozers on time, only to bounce off them and into a pit. Oh, and if you get hit once by these things, they will keep hitting you until you fall into a pit. It's often inescapable, so you'd be better off watching your own demise than trying to fight it. God forbid you should lose Dixie in this level. Her flying is more or less imperative to beating it, and even so it only helps a little bit. But you know what pisses me off the most? This is the only level that Koindozers appear in. They're specifically designed to make one level a living hell. Did I mention DKC3 has a lot of fucking stupid gimmicks in it? Anyway, if it wasn't for Dixie Kong, the easily-found bonus barrels, and a fairly easy DK Coin retrieval, this level probably would have been higher on the list.
NUMBER 5:
Chain Link Chamber (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
FUCK ROPE CLIMBING. Okay, so I'm not sure if anyone else shares my disdain for this level, but this is my list so fuck it - to me, rope climbing is bigger bullshit to control than swimming or any of the animal friends. I say this because it's constructed on the basis of cheap death. Let me explain - a lot of this level is spent dodging enemies on the chains, right? Problem is, a lot of the time you don't have a clear-cut idea of where the enemies are about to move, so you find yourself in a death trap. I get that this level has a couple of branching paths you can take, but I don't care. Add some hard-to-find bonus rooms, annoyingly difficult treks to the bonus coins, and having to walk through walls to get to the DK coin and you've got yourself a real bitch of a level. If you want a visual representation of this level, here it is - get to the part of this level where Zingers fly around aimlessly, kill yourself on one of them, fall to the platform below, and watch as the Kutlass swings his sword repeatedly at you. Yeah, this level just loves to kill you over and over and over again, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
NUMBER 4:
Poison Pond (Donkey Kong Country)
I thought maybe I'd be biased in choosing this level for this list, seeing as this was one of the first games I ever owned and seeing as this level has haunted me ever since. However, I have since replayed DKC and I can now say for sure that this level is horse shit. A lot of water levels require you to inch along carefully (which I hate in platformers), and this level is possibly the worst offender of that I have ever seen. This level is a constant onslaught of shit - enemies, mincers, you name it - it's going to kill you. Just when you think you're in the clear, a mincer comes at you quicker than you can react to it. Just after you've dodged an army of Bitesizes and Chomps, a Squidge comes to fucking stab you in the chest. This level goes beyond unforgiving and enters the realm of unfair. It's already hard enough to dodge things in the water, and Poison Pond makes it near impossible. Luckily, there are no bonus stages or secrets to this level, so once you finish it you can feel free to never subject yourself to that kind of torture again.
NUMBER 3:
Toxic Tower (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
Hey look! Another poison-themed level! Oh wait, there's a difference...this poison actually kills you. So here's the story - venomous acid is filling the castle and you have to rush to the top of the tower. Now here's the problem - a good portion of this level is spent playing as Rattly. In any other level Rattly is okay, but in this one he just might be the worst thing ever. He is super slow to charge up his super-jump, which you have to use in this level not only because of the fast-moving toxic waste but because most of the platforms are too high to reach normally. If you get stuck in that green shit as Rattly even once, you're dead. Oh, and Rattly is the one you get the DK Coin with, and you have to drop down a pit to get it. So...good luck with that. Anyway, once you get past the Rattly part (which will take fucking forever), the level is fairly manageable. There's only one bonus in it and it's during the Squitter portion. It's not a hard bonus, per se, but it's tedious. Nevertheless, the Rattly part is enough to put this level in my top 3 on this list. Yeah, it's that bad.
NUMBER 2:
Lightning Lookout (Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!)
Most people would expect to see this level at the top of a list like this. I don't think it's the absolute worst level per se, but OH MY GOD FUCK THIS LEVEL TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL. You traverse through a fairly basic forest platforming level while being followed by lightning strikes. Now, the first half of the level isn't that bad because you get a decent amount of time between lightning strikes and a "preview strike" so you know where it's going. As you get in the second half, however, the lightning gets faster and harder to avoid. Sure, you can hide under enemies for a short while, but you have to move at some point, and often times the lightning will strike based on where you'll end up at the pace you're moving at. AND, to make matters worse, there are parts where you have to go underwater. If you're anywhere in that body of water and lightning hits it, you're done. Really? Fucking REALLY?! This is the kind of level that you want to finish once and then never play again. Luckily, the bonus sections and DK coin come fairly easily, so it's not that hard to "one-and-done" this level, but it's going to take you a while. Honestly, this level is so cheap and so gimmicky that it made the overall game less enjoyable.
NUMBER 1:
Screech's Sprint (Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest)
Picture this - you've just finished a series of some of the hardest and most frustrating levels in the entire series, including Windy Well, Castle Crush, Chain Link Chamber and Toxic Tower, among others. You reach Stronghold Showdown, where you expect to fight Kaptain K. Rool. Instead, you see Donkey Kong tied up and pulled into an overhanging ship. You follow K. Rool up the rope, thinking that you'll fight him aboard "The Flying Krock" instead. WRONG! You have to do a bramble level before you get to the boss. That's right - after everything you went through in that last world, the game throws this monstrosity at you. This is one of those few levels in the series that is an absolute nightmare from start to finish. You begin with some unforgiving platforming with the Kongs that includes roll-jumping through brambles, several Cat O' 9 Tails' that are very hard to dodge (those are my least favorite enemy in any DKC game, by the way), precision jumps, and dodging enemies such as Zingers Mini-Neckys while climbing ropes. And then you reach the Squawks segment, where you have to fly through brambles (which is already frustrating enough on its own) while racing a bird named Screech. Yes, there are two secret barrels you can take as shortcuts during the race, but they really don't help too much because Screech doesn't move much slower than barrel blast speed and you have to waste time killing or dodging Zingers and navigating through really narrow sections of brambles...which Screech can bypass however the fuck he pleases. Literally, that son of a bitch can fly right through a Zinger without a single fuck given. And here's the kicker - you can't come in second or else you die, regardless of whether or not you have an extra Squawks. Yes, I've tried it. Oh, and this is also one of the hardest levels to complete in full. The bonus levels are somewhat difficult to find and unforgiving as all hell once you find them, and they put the DK Coin in the middle of the race in a completely inconvenient, completely hard-to-reach, completely out-of-the-way area that almost guarantees you a spot in second place. This level goes beyond being hard - this level is mean-spirited.
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